"I Am the Sky, But I Don't Control the Weather."

If I am the sky, why can't I control the weather?  That's just it!  I am not in control.  In fact, it feels like a relief in the very depths of my heart.  The "letting go" and the "holding on" create weather.  When I let go of those feelings, emotions, monkey mindedness, my sky looks blue with a few puffy clouds as if you could see forever.  When I hold onto the thoughts of controlling, competing, comparing, and coveting, my weather becomes quite stormy, my sky becomes dark with angry, rolling thunderheads.

When I practice back bending postures in yoga, my sky does not look so blue and happy.  In fact, it can appear pretty stormy.  However, I have friends who find back bending to be simply lovely.  You can see my beautiful friend and co-teacher at Tranquility, Sheri, below.

Yesterday in class, we had to think of our most difficult pose and practice with a new friend.  My beautiful new friend Rhomdoul (from Cambodia) has the most elegant nature and the kindest heart.  She watched me without saying anything struggle and groan as I came up into wheel (Urdhva Dhanurasana).  Rhomdoul was so sweet and smiled the whole way through my hard work of opening my chest, my thighs, and powering up with my arms.  Afterwards, we sat in silence.

First, I talked about how I struggle because I look like this...

But, I want to look like this...

When I finished telling her all about why it was so hard, how much I work on it, she simply smiled.  We had another moment of silence as we stared face to face.  Then, Rhomdoul said, "Your form is good, you are strong enough, you just are thinking too much.  Your mind is too busy!"

I am thinking too much.  

My mind is overly busy.

So, all this time, I thought it was my shoulders or my flexibility or my inability to bend back.  My weather was stormy, and I felt exhausted.  But, I learned a great lesson.  

I am the sky, and I cannot control the weather.  Acceptance and releasing the busy, busy mind will help me eventually find this pose.  I just have to let go of the suffering that I create for myself and release it.  It may happen someday, and then again, it may not.  But, in releasing the fixation on it, I may just find contentment, ease, and acceptance.  These qualities are far more important than the posture itself.

Let it go...let it go...let it go...whatever you are over-thinking today.  Breathe in; breathe out.

Release.